About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
