Will you blow on my dice?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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