i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
