I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
