Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize