sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
