This is not my ceiling
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize