It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
should my penis look like a turkey
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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