im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
