my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
