i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
