Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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