I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
