Where did you get a picture of my penis
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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