Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
