Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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