i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize