you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
