Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
