I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
