he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
now i know why i became what i already was.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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