Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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