This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Sober January is a disaster.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
