mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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