I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
