I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize