One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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