I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
