Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
God I need to hump something, right now.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
