Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
