Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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