you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
