I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize