So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
