apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
