Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
