I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
