In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
