Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
tell me about the eggs
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