he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
