): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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