Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
