nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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