idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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