Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
