I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
