Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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