your room smells of hookers.
And success
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
