areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
