dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im part way to drunk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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