..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I could fuck to npr.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize