john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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