i barfeds in our rink
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
