she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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