My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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