come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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