I'm really into asian looking animals
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My life is pants optional.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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