If i come over, it means nothing
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just cropdusted the office
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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