Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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