Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
