Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
