So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
