You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
