I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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