he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He passed out mid-signature
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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