Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
