A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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