he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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